Sex Myth Busting: 3 Big Ones Debunked!
If you’re like me and didn’t get a whole lot of sex education while growing up, you’re not alone. Most people relied on their friends, schoolyard whispers, porn, and the internet to learn all about sex. While some information may be true, a lot is not. Being able to tell what is a fact and what is fiction makes a big difference when it comes to harm reduction, pleasure, and even pregnancy. I’m about to bust three of the myths you might have heard the most about.
MYTH 1: THE MORE VAGINALLY INSERTIVE SEX YOU HAVE, THE LOOSER THE VAGINA GETS
Does your mouth get larger the more you use it? Uh, no. So is the case with the vagina. It is a myth that the vagina can get “loose”. The vagina’s walls are made of erectile tissue and always contract and expand due to blood flow. Anatomically speaking, the vagina is about 5”-7” inches long and can vary about 2” when aroused. When aroused the vagina naturally expands up to twice its size - this is called “vaginal tenting”. Pubococcygeal (aka PC muscles) and pelvic floor muscles surround the vaginal wall. Those muscles can get weak due to many factors which may give a false impression that the vagina is loose. It’s important to note that, if you are experiencing incontinence, pain with insertive sex or pain in that region at all, I recommend seeing a health care provider who may recommend seeing a physical therapist who specializes in the pelvic region.
However, if you are a vagina owner and you feel like your vaginal grip could use some strengthening, kegel exercises are your best bet. Kegel exercises consist of tightening, holding and releasing the PC muscles in repetition - it feels just like squeezing the PC muscles to stop the flow of urine. Some people like to use products to help them contract the muscles or potentially make the exercises more effective, like weighted or un-weighted kegel balls, yoni/kegel eggs, ben-wa balls or a product called a pelvic trainer that usually has a tech component. It’s important to remember though, to use a water-based, body-safe lube to make inserting any kegel apparatus smooth and easy. Additionally, there are even apps for your phone that will help remind you and give some instructions like Kegel Camp.
MYTH 2: YOU DON’T NEED LUBE IF THE VAGINA IS ALREADY WET
For the vagina, “getting wet” can be (though not always) a sign of sexual arousal. However, no matter how wet that vagina gets, it’s often beneficial to use lube in addition to (or in place of) the natural lubrication one’s body produces. For one, a personal lubricant can help sex last longer than natural secretions alone. Or, maybe you’re feeling really turned on but your body hasn’t quite had the time to catch up. Lube can help facilitate insertive sex until (and after) your body starts to produce its own. Another reason you may want to use lube is it makes the friction created by insertive sex smoother and easier. This can prevent micro-tears which can make exposure to STI’s more prevalent. Also, a lubricant is an absolute necessity with butt sex as it prevents painful and injurious anal sex, not to mention making insertion easier.
MYTH 3: THERE ARE ONLY TWO SIZES OF CONDOMS - REGULAR AND LARGE
Sometimes the difference between pleasurable sex and “meh” sex is the size of the condom the penis is wearing.
If you’ve bought condoms in the past, you may have just been offered “regular” or “large” and figured that’s that. But not so! In fact, a lot of condom companies make condoms in different sizes in order to fit all the wonderful sizes that penises come in. If your condom of choice always feels a little tight or a little loose, you might be wearing the wrong condom size. According to Lucky Bloke, a condom subscription service that sells all sizes of condoms about 35% of penis owners wear average condoms, 50% wear medium condoms and 15% wear large/extra-large condoms (please allow a 5% variance). How can you tell which category you fall into? Lucky Bloke suggests using the toilet paper roll test. Place the penis inside your run-of-the-mill toilet paper roll. If it’s a tight squeeze to get it in, you need a larger condom. If you have just enough room then a medium size condom is probably your jam, and if there is room between the penis and the inside of the toilet paper roll you are probably in the average category.
There you go! Three common sex myths busted! So the next time someone tries to tell you that your vagina is loose, or that there’s no reason to use lube, or that your penis will fit into any condom, you can now confidently explain why they are wrong.